OUR AIM –
wholesomely-better self-monitoring,
and self-&-mutual correcting-or-improving.
I have no bone to pick with you,
but
May we have a few quiet words, please ?
——————
(I’m afraid our Governing and Global-United-Nations Workplace and Lifeplace Powers
are not willing-&-able to begin, nor to allow, a “Constructive-Reformation-cum-Peaceful-Revolution”).
And so we’re gonna have to design and-be-testing -“our-own”
“bottom-up” sort of
Sustainworthy-Self-&-Civilisation Intentions & Programme –
And we might first quite successfully follow the best personal-life-leaders
more”faithfully”, line-by-line, and word-by-word,
adopting the “12 Roadblocks to Communication”, from Bolton’s People Skills –
Three groups of ‘Blocks/Blockers/Blockages’ hinder us
JUDGING
1 Criticising
2 Name-Calling
3 Diagnosing
4 Praising Evaluatively
[“It is not always true that to be praised is to be loved.
To be praised is more often to be manipulated.
To be praised is often to be used.
To be praised is often to be outsmarted, outmanoeuvred, out-sweet-talked”.
(David Augsburger).],
Consider also the newer healthier-human advance into “Perceptual Self-Control”
and thereby away from “Reinforcement Theories: ‘Good girl. Bad boy”, (Prof Wm. Powers).
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SENDING-SOLUTIONS
5. Ordering
6. Threatening
7. Moralising
8. Excessive, or Inappropriate Probing/Questioning.
9. Advising
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AVOIDING OTHERS’ NEEDS & CONCERNS
10. Diverting
11. ‘Logical’ Argument [including using Fallacies}
12. Reassuring.
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We would guess
that to confront the Block/Blocker by ‘correcting’ him/her
is only going to be a “second-head-on-barrier” wasting-away precious “positivising”-time.:
So probably our response should be to
avoid that ‘roadblocking’
and instead put forward
its opposite
and ‘stick-to’ to the real-point needing constructive-addressing …
[so, “on we go …” ]
… but yet –
Roadblock #13 is “Telling someone else that they are blocking communication” !!!
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